My birthday just passed—February 13—and for my birthday, I always do something big for myself. I turned 40 years old, and as much as I wanted a huge birthday party, the thought of planning it was something I did not want to do. I sat in my bed asking myself, “Tamika, what do you want for your birthday?” and I told myself, I want to enter it soft! I want my 40s to be soft.
So, I planned a full spa day with a massage and a bath, indulged in tea, and relaxed at the spa. My whole day was beautiful. Then I went home, took a nap, went to dinner, and ordered whatever I wanted from the menu. The dinner was absolutely delicious. I had lobster, potatoes, and white wine, and the chef gave me a complimentary butter cake! OMG!
After dinner, I went home, made some Taomi Tea, and watched a romantic movie. When it was time to head to bed, I prayed and got emotional because not a lot of people get to see the age of 40—but I did, and I am so grateful. While lying in bed, I thought to myself, What are the lessons I learned at age 39?
Let’s get into it… in no particular order, below are 39 lessons I learned at 39:
- Have boundaries.
- Do not over-explain yourself.
- It’s okay to not have all the answers.
- Be strong in your no, yes, and maybe.
- Include God in everything.
- Listen to your body and take your health more seriously.
- Have clear intentions.
- In dating and in friendship, your needs are foundational.
- Save your money.
- Advocate for yourself and your health. Nowadays, doctors don’t take their time with patients, so use that time to always ask questions and gain clarity.
- Find workouts that are great for YOUR body.
- Get more rest.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- INVEST.
- Pray about everything.
- Don’t be afraid to face your fears and triggers.
- Travel as much as you can.
- Don’t be afraid to build more community.
- Treat yourself weekly.
- Cheap purses are a waste of money! Lol! Use that money to buy purses that will last.
- Communicate even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Continue to stay curious about life.
- Read more.
- Dissect your friendships and see if this is just a colleague or a real friend.
- Never forget your why.
- Stay in healthy friendships that edify you and make you better.
- Date someone who is healthy for your nervous system. Do not stay with someone who is confusing and has no intention for you.
- Speak up for yourself regarding your rights as a person, an employee, and a citizen. Know your rights and speak up against issues that don’t serve you, your community, and the country you live in.
- Learn more and more about your history.
- Have a balance in what you take in! There are so many things happening in this world that it can often be overwhelming, but finding the right balance will keep you informed and help maintain your mental health.
- Have conversations with your family. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about things they did. Those uncomfortable conversations help them understand you more.
- Stretch more.
- Take your supplements.
- Drink less.
- Make sure everything you do aligns with who you are.
- Have fun! Life is short—HAVE FUN!
- Love yourself SO MUCH! And remember, you are worthy.
- Do not settle for anything that does not align with who you are, and do not settle for anything that causes confusion and pain.
- Always give yourself grace and remember that you are still learning.
There are so many lessons I’ve learned, but these were the ones that came to mind while typing. Now that I am 40, my desire is to have a soft life. I want my life to be soft. I know life happens and things are out of our control, but I want to live a life full of JOY. I want no limits! I want to travel more, love more, laugh more, and learn more! I want to shed anything that does not belong to me!
God gave me a word for this year: Restoration! I am excited for this new chapter.
Cheers to me being 40! To more health, lessons, wealth, and an overflowing abundance of love!
🍃 Tamika J.
Check out the photos below to see some captured shots of my birthday.
